Being Human Read online

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  Deadguy and Valkadaidan were the first to turn the corner. First to witness the mass destruction that only a five-story man could cause. "Wow," DG remarked. "That's a lot of damage."

  "Not as much as you've caused," Valk said.

  Jill came up behind them. Kiri followed, fiddling with Xenio's head. "Gentlemen, we need a plan," Jill ordered.

  "No plan," Kiri said. "Just a distraction."

  "Okay, so who has a distracting plan," Deadguy asked. "and why do we need a distracting plan?"

  "To put the genie back in the bottle," the Techie replied, shocking her finger."

  "What? No three wishes?"

  "How's this for three wishes," Jill answered. "Wish one: We stop Jim. Wish two: Xenio is trapped in his own head. Wish three: City is saved."

  Deadguy and Valkadaidan looked at each other. "Sounds good," Valk said.

  "I like those wishes," DG agreed. "Those are excellent wishes."

  The Heroes charged into battle. The over sized Nocturnal saw them approaching and threw a car. Deadguy took a swing with Masamune and knocked the projectile back at him. It bounced off and crashed into a building a few blocks down. Another car was thrown, and this time Valkadaidan sliced it in two. Both halves clanked along the ground. They continued their charge, slicing or knocking away everything he threw at them. Deadguy was first to catch up to Nocturnal. He swung his bat into the giant's ankle, but it just snapped back out.

  Nocturnal swept his hand, knocking Our Hero back across the street and into a store window. "Ugh," he groaned. "Why do my fights always have me getting thrown through a window at some point?"

  "Because this city loves it's stores," Jill replied.

  "Yeah. Commerce is king, except when it's not," he quipped as he dragged himself out of the broken window. "Have you got that thing working yet?"

  Kiri just hummed to herself.

  "Boss, any ideas?"

  "Just one, get back in there and keep him distracted," she commanded.

  "I've got a better idea," DG exclaimed, pulled his phone out. "Give me about fifteen minutes." He took off, calling someone.

  "Deadguy! Where are you going," Jill yelled after him.

  "Let him go," Valk said, slicing through a projectile light post. "I think I know what he's up to."

  "Is that a good thing," she asked, narrowly avoiding a flying tire.

  "Can't be worse then what we're doing now."

  Jill shot away a newspaper box, trying to keep Kiri safe. "Why do I still trust that idiot," she muttered.

  "The same reason we all trust him," Kiri answered, not taking her attention from Xenio's head. "He's a hero, and heroes always come through in the end."

  Deadguy returned some time later with something in a bag. He pulled a Styrofoam box out and tore off the lid to reveal the warm plate of nachos inside.

  "Are you serious," Jill asked. "The city is on the brink of ruin and you went for nachos?"

  "You know what they say," DG replied. "nachos soothe the savage beast."

  "No one's ever said that," Valk commented.

  "I think I read it somewhere on the Internet," Kiri replied, adjusting a few wires.

  "They're not for me anyway." Our Hero started towards Nocturnal, plate of nachos held high. "Hey, Jimgantuan. Time for a snack break."

  Nocturnal turned and looked down at the plate of nachos and a smiling Deadguy. He sniffed, the plate almost jumping out of Our Hero's hands and into his nostrils. His eyes turned back into their normal hazel color."Mmm," he said, his voice low and loud. "That smells gooooood."

  "And it can be all yours for the low, low price of shrinking back down to normal size and stopping this path of destruction."

  Nocturnal reached down for the nachos, then stopped suddenly. "What do you think you're doing, Xenio's voice came out of Jim's mouth.

  "Trying nachos," Jim answered innocently

  "I am in control here," it stated.

  "No you're not," Deadguy said. "Come back to us, Jimmy. The nachos call to you."

  "Destroy him," it demanded, controlling Jim's arm. He made a fist and held it above Our Hero.

  "Melty goodness."

  "Get out of my head," Jim said.

  "What," Xenio's voice asked, sounding shocked

  "Get out," Jim's voice yelled.

  "No," it replied. "I created you. I control you."

  "Come on, Jim," Deadguy encouraged. "You can fight it."

  Jim's fist started to shake as the Shifter fought against Xenio's control. "No," he exclaimed. "I'm not fighting my friends."

  "How can you have friends," Xenio questioned. "You're not even human."

  "He's more human than most people I've met," Our Hero commented. "In fact, he's more than just human. He's a hero."

  "Yeah," Jim said. "I'm a hero." The giant fist slowly started rising back up. "I've learned more from these people, my friends, in one day than you could ever know. Now. Get OUT!"

  With that yell, every object that he had took into his skin started flying out. Parts of cars, crushed metal remains, light posts, it all flew in various directions. Valkadaidan did his best to protect Jill and Kiri from the onslaught. The last thing expelled was what looked to be a spark of electricity. Jim fell to his knees, naked again. Deadguy quickly covered him with his trench coat. "And that's why you're awesome," he stated, presenting Jim with the plate of nachos.

  Before the Shifter had time to indulge in the melty, crunchy goodness of the nachos, the objects he shot out began to float. Sparks jumped about seemingly at random, but began to form into something. The objects rushed towards the form as the sparks and jolts began spinning. A whirlwind of electricity and destroyed objects appeared. A pair of eyes and a mouth popped up in the middle of the whirlwind. "Do you think you can defeat me that easily," Xenio roared. "I am Xenio the Indestructible."

  "Regroup," Deadguy yelled, running back to the others. Jim was a few steps behind him.

  The whirlwind grew larger as Xenio took in more objects and electricity. "I will consume this entire plane and turn it into a metallic rock where no life can exist."

  The eyes of the head flickered, then lit bright blue. "Alright," Kiri cheered. "We've got a lamp." She hefted the head and walked towards the electronic whirlwind. "Now to catch a genie." She tugged on one of the wires. Two beams of light shot out from the eyes into the chaos.

  A television flew out, aiming for her. Deadguy stepped in and smashed it with Masamune. "Come on Heroes," he called out. "we need to protect Kir."

  Valk and Jim quickly rushed to her sides, while Jill stood back-to-back with her. The Shifter's fist grew to the size of basketballs. The Dragon-Blooded had his katana drawn. The Redheaded Gunner was ready to shoot anything that came her way.

  Xenio started sending a barrage of objects at the Heroes. Between flashed of steel, punches, bullets, and swings of the bat, none of the objects found their destination. The whirlwind began to lurch and wobble in an awkward manner. The head shook, trying to drag the energy of the mechanical menace back into it. As a last ditch effort, Xenio threw a bus at the Heroes.

  "Bus," Deadguy yelled.

  "On three," Valk commanded. "Three!" All three Heroes hit the bus with their respective weapons. Jim smashed into it with his enlarged fists. The bus flew back at the whirlwind, causing it to dissipate. The last of the energy was sucked into the head. The eyes grew red for a moment.

  "No," Xenio exclaimed. "This cannot be happ-" His outrage was cut short when the eyes turned from red back to bright blue.

  "Good night, sweet prince," Kiri mocked.

  The Heroes stood with Jim outside their office. The warm breeze floated across the parking lot."Sure you don't want to stay," Jill asked. Jim shook his head.

  "Nah," he replied. "I need to find out who I really am."

  She hugged him. "If you ever change your mind, we've got an open spot."

  Kiri was next, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Thank you sooo much for helping us," she said. "You w
ere super awesome."

  "I'm going to miss you," he said, hugging her back.

  Then came Valkadaidan, who stood with his arms crossed. They silently looked at one another, then the Supreme Warrior extended his hand. They shook hands briskly. "You'll do well out there," he complimented.

  "Well," Jim said, looking around. "I guess Deadguy's off doing whatever."

  "Jimmy," DG yelled from some distance away. "Don't leave yet." Our Hero ran up with a familiar plastic bag. "Had to get you a going away present."

  "Let me guess," the Shifter offered. "Nachos." Deadguy nodded, grinning from ear-to-ear. "I'm going to turn into a plate of nachos."

  "From you, that could be a literal statement," DG remarked. Jim held out his hand to shake, but Deadguy grabbed him and gave him a big hug. "Friends don't just shake hands," he said. A couple pats on the back, then he let him go. "So, until you get bored and come back, eh?" The Shifter nodded.

  Waving goodbye to the Heroes, Jim set out to find his place in the world.

  END