Deadgirl Read online

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  The next day, Kiri dragged Deadgirl to the mall to try to get some clothes that didn't look like they belonged to someone else. Try as she might, though, they somehow ended up in the small goth store in the dark end of the mall. "Why is that," DG asked.

  "Why is what," Kiri asked, looking over the wall of t-shirts dedicated to bands she's never heard of.

  "Why is the goth store located in the darkened area of the mall," she repeated.

  "Oh, sorry. I just tune you out when you start narrating externally."

  "Well, could you not. You might miss valuable plot points." She held up a shirt from a comic book series that one would only know about if they had read it years ago. Before anyone could react, Our Hero pulled off the shirt she was wearing and began to slip on the other. Kiri shrieked as the sound of smartphones taking picture went off.

  "DeeGee," she squealed, rushing to cover her bare breast. "Why aren't you wearing a bar?"

  "Wow your hands are cold," DG replied.

  "Just...get in the dressing room." She shoved Deadgirl into the only dressing room in the store and slammed the curtains shut. She spun around to face the disappointed. "Nothing to see here," she said, trying to sound like she wasn't flustered. "Move along now." She turned away from the crowd, trying to hide her blushing.

  "Hey Kir," Our Hero said from the other side of the curtains. "Next time you grab my boobs, make sure your hands are a little warmer. I think my girls can officially cut glass."

  Kiri bit her lower lip. "Sure. Fine. Whatever, just hurry up and put a shirt on."

  After the little shopping incident, the two Heroes sat down for lunch in the food court. Kiri was eating sushi while Deadgirl was stuffing her face with a double bacon cheeseburger and fries. "You're making a scene again," Kiri said.

  "I'll make a whole damn movie," DG said between bites. "What's your point?"

  "Well, since you're a woman now-"

  "For now."

  "-For now, you should maybe act a little more feminine."

  "No. Screw that," DG retorted. "There's no such thing as 'acting feminine' when there are women out there doing things just like men are. Plus, I've met some women that act worse than me even when I was a guy." She closed her eyes and went to take another bite of her burger, when a bolt of electricity knocked it out of her hand. She bit down on air. She bit the air a few more times. "Kiri? Did someone just zap my cheeseburger out of my hand?"

  "Yeah," the Techie answered. "It's a mess on the floor now."

  "That's it," DG sighed, slamming her hands on the table and pushing herself up. "I'm going into Hyper Bitch Overdrive Mode." She snapped on her fingerless fighting gloves and glared over at where the bolt came from. "Maria Jones. You owe me a cheeseburger"

  Maria stared at Our Hero. "Who are you," she questioned.

  "Deadguy," she answered.

  "Girl," Maria corrected.

  "Woman," DG corrected her. "because you know why? Not every female version of a male character has to be called 'girl', so I'm Deadwoman." She paused. "No, that's too complicated. Need to keep the DeeGee motif."

  "Motif is a design term," Maria stated. "I don't think it can be used for naming."

  "A name can be designed just like anything else," she argued. "I think the word can still be used in this example."

  The Electric-Psycho sighed, then sent out a blast of electricity, sending her crashing into an Italian cuisine booth. "You still don't know when to shut up, regardless of gender," she yelled.

  "Gal," DG proclaimed from out of the rubble. "I'm Deadgal." She jumped out of the mess. "Yeah, Deadgal. Sounds...cooler. Fiercer. Rawr." Maria sent off another bolt of electricity, but Our Hero held her ground. "What the hell are you even doing here? I thought they locked you away in another fish tank."

  She sheepishly turned her head. "I'm here to meet my pen pal," she answered.

  "You have a pen pal? Wait, they allowed you to have a pen?"

  Maria looked back and stared daggers into Deadgal. "What? Am I so evil that I'm not allowed to have friends?"

  Our Hero held up her hands in self-defense. "No no. Not what I meant. It's great that your socializing and trying to make friends. It's just...you murdered a whole group of your followers a few months ago."

  "Got a good lawyer. Knocked down to several counts of vigilantism."

  Both Deadgal and Kiri stood there, mouths agape. "I have officially lost all faith in the legal system," DG remarked. Kiri nodded in agreement. Deadgal shook her head. "Wait. Wait a minute. You still broke out of prison."

  "Who said I broke out," Maria questioned.

  Our Hero glared at her, trying to figure out just exactly what she meant. "You still attacked me."

  "Because you threatened me."

  "Because you blasted a cheeseburger out of my hand. That's no bueno."

  "I sneezed," she defended. "I didn't attack you. I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. Yeah, we've had some clashes in the past, but I'm trying to change. To be a better person."

  Deadgal and Kiri both tilted their heads in confusion. "What has he done to you," DG asked.

  "He who," Maria asked, thrown off by the question. "My pen pal? How did you know my pen pal was a guy?"

  "What? No. I...grrr." Our Hero massaged the bridge of her nose. "It's been a weird couple of days and I have no idea what the hell's going on with anything anymore." She let out a great sigh. "Kiri, we're leaving. Tell your pen pal we said hi."

  Deadgal and Kiri sat in Deadgal's apartment, sorting out the new clothes and half-watching something on television. The late afternoon sun laid out on the floor."It's nice," Kiri commented.

  "What? The shirt," Our Hero asked, holding up a pink shirt with a spider emblem on it.

  "No, I mean having someone to do girl things with."

  "You and Jill never hang out?"

  Kiri shook her head. "She's all business. I don't know if she even knows how to have fun."

  "Peas in a pod," DG remarked. The Techie cocked her head to the side. "Valk's the same way."

  "So, hey, looks like it's just you and me," She announced proudly.

  "At least until we find Ann Drogyne and fix this," DG replied.

  "Wh...what," Kiri stammered.

  "I don't know," Deadgal said, slumping back into the couch. "I mean if she can fix this. What if I'm stuck like this, though?"

  "Is that a bad thing," Kiri asked.

  "I'm not really sure," she answered, scratching her chin. "Being a woman is awesome, but it just doesn't feel like me."

  "I kind of like you like this," the Techie said softly, laying back on the couch a little closer.

  "Thanks Kir, but I-" DG paused, letting what she said process for a moment. "Are you coming on to me?"

  Kiri nodded, her eyes full of worry about how Our Hero would react.

  "You're a lesbian?"

  She simply nodded again, fearful.

  "How? We got along really well when I was a guy."

  "Contrary to popular belief, not all lesbians hate men," she explained. "Besides, I saw you more like a big brother."

  "I officially have no idea how to react," DG remarked.

  "Well, I have a good idea where to start," Kiri cooed, laying her hand on Deadgal's thigh.

  She looked at the hand, then back to Kiri. "Sure. Why the hell not?"