A House Divided Read online

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  Deadguy got to his car just as his phone rang. “What now,” he grumbled. He fished the device out of his pants pocket to see Lilith calling. “I thought you guys communicated with the dead telepathically,” he said.

  “I tried,” she remarked. “All I received was 'this line is not in service'.” There was a pause. “Can you help me with something?”

  “I can never say no to you,” DG replied.

  “I mean is Jill going to be upset if I-”

  “Jill's kicked me out for the day,” he said, breaking her off. “So I'm all yours to do with whatever you want.”

  “Good. This might take a while.”

  The two pressed against the door, trying to keep the malevolent being in. “You do know how to show a girl a good time,” Our Hero quipped.

  “This is your fault anyway,” Lilith hissed. “Why did you call an ancient Spirit Seeker 'Zoidberg'?”

  “Oh, don't tell me you didn't think the same thing?”

  THOOM belted from behind the door, almost knocking the two away from the door.

  “That's not the point,” she argued. “I need to send it back.”

  “No time like the present, Beautiful,” DG remarked.

  “The tools needed are still in the room,” she scolded.

  THOOM!

  “Knock it off,” they both yelled at the door.

  THOOM!

  The necromancer glared at Deadguy. “You're going in,” she declared.

  “Wait, what,” he stammered.

  “You're going in,” she repeated. “You can't die, so I presume you don't have a soul.”

  “Gee, thanks.”

  “How about on three?”

  “How about no?”

  “Three!” Lilith pulled the door open and shoved Our Hero into the room. He stood in near darkness as a giant creature sniffed around the room. It was pink with tendrils hanging from it's mouth. It had giant crab claws for hands and a giant shell of a back. It stopped sniffing for a moment, then turned to face Deadguy. It's eyes were pure white, making it blind to everything. Deadguy inched over to the bag that held the tools that Lilith had brought to take this creature down. The creature leapt across the room and started sniffing him.

  “Good Spirit Seeker,” DG said sweetly, as one would to a dog. “Nice Spirit Seeker.”

  The Spirit Seeker continued sniffing, then turned it's attention back to the room. Our Hero inched over to the bag again, then lunged for them. He bolted out the door just as the Spirit Seeker heard him leaving.

  Deadguy barreled out of the room, almost knocking Lilith over in the process. “It's going to eat me,” he yelled.

  “It doesn't 'eat' people,” the necromancer fussed. “It just sucks their soul out of them and leaves them an empty husk.”

  “That doesn't sound any better,” he remarked. He shoved the bag at her. “Here's your gear, now make it disappear.”

  Lilith grabbed a bone dagger and a few different tubes of powder from the bag. She sat down in front of the locked door and began to chant, spreading the powders out one at a time and pointing the dagger at the door. The Spirit Seeker was banging on the other side hard, trying to break through. Strange curved runes began to light up on the door as the Spirit Seeker screamed in pain on the other side.

  “That doesn't sound good,” Our Hero commented.

  “Shh,” Lilith hissed before going back to her chanting. Smoke began to wavier in from around the door frame.

  “That's definitely not good,” he added.

  “Shh,” the necromancer repeated. The smell of fire filled the hallway. Deadguy began to get a little closer to her, ready to pull her away from what he was expecting to be something fiery. The Spirit Seeker roared in anger and pain, bashing against the door with all it's might. It finally broke through, nothing more than a giant enraged fireball.

  Our Hero grabbed the necromancer and took off down the hallway. “Something went wrong,” she stated.

  “Thanks for that stunning report, Captain Obvious,” he shot back. “Unless that spell was meant to turn that thing into a cute, fluffy bunny, we've gone BEYOND wrong.”

  The two ran down the stairs, the burning Spirit Seeker barreling behind them. The ancient wood of the building lighting up around it. The structure quickly began to come crashing down around them as they made their way to the exit. With one last burst of energy, Deadguy slammed through the double doors that led out into the early morning air. They managed to get to the street when they looked back to see what was happening. The building was lit up like a bonfire. Somewhere within was the dying roars of the Spirit Seeker.

  “Oh no,” Lilith said.

  “Oh no,” DG questioned. “Oh no is never a good thing.”

  “Across the street,” she ordered. “Now!”

  The two barely made it across when the building exploded. The flames took on the shape of tentacles and dragged the entire burning wreckage deep into the earth. They looked at the hole. Deadguy crossed his arms and turned his attention to Lilith. “You mind explaining this,” he asked, gesturing towards the hole.

  “There's something weird going on,” she said, more to herself than him. “I thought it was just a rumor, but this...” The sound of sirens broke through the quite early hours as police and fire departments were pulling up to the remains.

  “And here comes the firing squad,” Our Hero sighed. “The police will want to ask us some questions.” He leaned closer to Lilith. “Just say we were out for a stroll.”

  The first officer on the scene came over to them, ordering them across the street.

  They sat down on the curb opposite the scorched crater that once held the abandoned building. The usual collection of police, fire, and EMT vehicles were on the scene as well. He pulled his phone out and called Jill.

  “What,” her voice asked coldly.

  “Hey Boss,” Our Hero greeted warmly. “Just calling to let you know I might be a little late to work.”

  “Fine.” CLICK

  He held the phone away and glared at it.

  “Something wrong,” the necromancer asked.

  “I'm not sure,” he answered, concerned.

  Lilith looked at him, studying his face, then looked back at the crater. “Something's very wrong,” she muttered.