Deadgirl

Deadgirl

  Quintin Fortune

  Copyright 2014 Quintin Fortune

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  "This won't end well," Deadguy muttered, narrowly avoiding another blast. The nightclub was in a panic as a man dressed like a woman was firing a mix of pink and blue energy from what appeared to be a blender modified into a gun. He dove behind a bar to find Kiri working on something on her smartphone. "Kir, is now really a good time for a statues update?"

  "Anytime's a good time for a statues update," she answered. "Besides, I already posted one. Now I'm trying to figure out what that weapon is and how I can hack it."

  "You can't hack a gun."

  "Watch me."

  "Better idea. How about we just ask him?" Our Hero stood up from behind the bar. "Hey you, person! What the hell is that blasty gunny thing?"

  The person stopped and glared at him. "Watch how you address a lady," she said.

  "Okay, Miss whoever you are."

  "Ann," she announced proudly. "Ann Drogyne."

  Deadguy tilted his head. "Run that one by me again."

  "No." She quickly fired off a blast from her gun. It knocked Our Hero back into the shelves behind the bar, debris and bottles crashing down on him.

  "Deadguy," Kiri yelled. She pushed some of the mess off, only to stop suddenly.

  "I'm fine Kir," a gruff woman's voice replied. "I feel smoother, but fine."

  "Um, Dead...guy," she questioned.

  "Why are you looking at me like that," the woman's voice asked.

  Kiri grabbed a piece of broken mirror and held it up. "Well, I'm not sure how to say this..."

  "Hey, that's a cute gi...why are her lips mov...oh. Holy hell. I've been turned into a woman," DG said, then immediately looked down her shirt. "I'm only an A-cup? Well, at least they're cute."

  "We need to get you out of here," the Techie said.

  "Not yet," Our Heroine replied, scrambling to stand up. "We still have to take this joker...out?" They looked around, but Ann was gone. "Where'd he go?"

  "She," Kiri corrected.

  "Semantics," DG argued. "Anyway, that's not important right now." She looked around. It didn't appear as if anyone else had been hit with the gun. "I'm the only one who got hit? Seriously? Oh, I'm going to kill that man if I ever meet him."

  "Woman," Kiri corrected again.

  "I didn't mean Ann," DG shot back. "Let's just get out of here."

  Kiri and DG sat in a small diner somewhere off Anhrefn Avenue. She watched as this female version of her friend ate like a someone who hasn't eaten in days. "This is just so weird," Kiri said.

  "You're telling me," DG replied, shoving some fries in her mouth. "I turn into a woman and I'm famished. " She stopped and examined herself. "My hair's still really short, but it feels silkier. I'm an A-cup. Look. Look at my skin." She held out her arm. "It's smooth and slightly pail. I'm not Deadguy anymore. I've been Rule 63ed. Seriously, look at me. I look like one of my girlfriends stole my clothes." She sat back in the booth, sulking. "How are any of my enemies suppose to take me seriously?"

  "You've been a woman for all of fifteen minutes and already you're being a bitch," Kiri stated.

  "Sorry," she replied. "I'm just...it's all these emotions and...argh! How do you put up with these feelings and it feels like I'm going to cry or scream or punch somebody.”

  "Could you keep it down," the man in the booth behind her asked.

  "Could you shut the hell up," DG replied.

  "What a bitch," he muttered as he turned back to his food. She tried to keep herself from hitting him.

  "I'm calling Jill," the Techie announced "She might have some idea of what to do." She pulled out her phone and called their boss.

  "It's two am.," Jill complained on the other end. "Why are you calling me?"

  "Boss," Kiri said, looking back at Our Heroine. She was woofing down a triple bacon cheeseburger. A few other people in the diner were watching them, commenting on the scene. "Help."

  "What? Why?" There was a pause. "On no. What has Deadguy done?"

  "It's not so much what he's done," she explained. DG chugged half a glass of pop, then belched loudly. "It's what has happened to him."

  "Oh my God," Jill exclaimed, sounding wide awake. "Is he...is he actually...dead?"

  "Huh? Oh, no. No no no," the Techie reassured. "Still alive, just Dead'guy' is now Dead'girl'. I think."

  "What? I don't know understa-," Jill sighed. "Nevermind We'll deal with it in the morning." With that, the line was disconnected.

  "Deadgirl," she asked. "That's the best you could come up with?"

  "It was the first thing that came to mind," she argued.

  "Fine. Let's just go. That guy in the far end of the diner has been staring at me and fondling himself ever since we sat down. I know what you're doing, pervert! Knock it off."

  Deadgu..gi...will you calm down," Kiri said.

  Not until I find this Ann Drogyne and force her to turn me back," she replied, clenching her fist.

  "I don't know," Kiri said as the two got up to leave. "Maybe being a woman for a while will change your perspective of things."

  "And maybe I'll travel back in time and team up with a former version of myself," DG responded, throwing her hands up in the air. Kiri gave her a quizzical look as they left the diner.